Brahein Richardson | CIIP 2023 Blog Portfolio

Orientation Week

What challenged me most about orientation was being open and vulnerable in a space full of strangers and people I had just met. More recently than ever I have been really feeling socially anxious most of the day, so being forced into social groups can definitely feel overwhelming for me. There was a lot of thought and self reassurance I had to go through to make sure I was checking in with myself. Funny enough, I would say one of the things I most enjoyed about orientation was meeting everyone and having my peer mentor group really bond. The scavenger hunt was great, we had so much fun. I also really fully have realized how much I really enjoy the peer mentors this summer. Again even during peer mentor orientation I felt apprehensions and nervousness about everyone, but I really love and enjoy interactions with all of them. A lot of the social fears I had going into orientation have been proven wrong, although not to say those fears aren’t still present. Another challenge I faced was arriving on time. Of course the first day could have been a one off and just a rough start to the week and I wanted to pick things up but I was never able to actually reach orientation at 8:30. I moved to The Social, so yes farther away, but I cannot use that excuse for the whole week. This is definitely something I want to work on. An additional unexpected challenge I had was remembering that orientation is not just for the interns, it is also still relevant to me as a peer mentor. I feel like sometimes my participation lacked or I at times normalized zoning out because I felt like I had already been through orientation and that its purpose wasn’t for me. Looking back it makes me wonder if I missed out on some key words that could have stuck with me.

Week 1

Going into week 1, I definitely had some anxiety, which I think I mentioned in my last blog is normal for me, but it can definitely feel overwhelming sometimes. Especially the strong apprehensive feeling I get before meeting in person with coworkers or even my supervisor for the first time. I think jumping into working after graduation has also been hard because I can still feel that my mind is in relaxation mode. A positive reflection I’ve had is that it’s starting to seem like I will click and fit right in where I’m needed at my placements. The placement process personally for me always brings those questions of belonging, especially since I’m entering into an already established community within the placement. It’s also interesting that both of my placements are new and it’s their first time partnering with CIIP, so I certainly see that having an impact on my experience this summer, but in what way I’m not completely sure. I am definitely excited to become more hands on involved with insulin research at BUGSS, I think what intrigues me the most is the community aspect behind it. The focus is mostly biology research yet the team is made up of people from many different backgrounds and I’m excited to learn from them technically but also just learn about their lives. I am also very genuinely excited to work with BYI, I think there’s a real warmth and comfort I feel when working with other black people in community. In both placements I feel under qualified since I do not have any background in those areas, but I’m so excited to learn and become more familiar with those skills. What I’ve tried to do in response to those feelings is to prepare myself as best as I can by doing a bunch of preliminary research on topics before going into hands-on work this upcoming week 2!

Week 2

I feel like I have probably talked about this a lot even if my past two blogs already but a challenge that I’ve had to face this week is trying to cope with social anxiety throughout the week with my placements. Thinking now, it honestly makes perfect sense why this feels so prevalent, because it’s only week 2 and I am still getting used to meeting everyone at my placements and slowly understanding the social dynamics of the space and how I can safely be a valuable addition. What I’ve been trying to do in response is think about or be more conscious about what I’m thinking about within these interactions. I work on my breathing and I try to notice the changes in my body in response to anxiety. For example, shaking my leg, it’s something that I do practically all the time but definitely when I’m feeling anxious I’ve realized it is an outward reflection of how I’m feeling in my head even though I myself may not be aware. So I’ve been using that as an indicator to identify those feelings and then actively address them by slowing down how fast I’m shaking my leg or stopping completely, allowing me to be more present in social moments because I have to concentrate on my leg. It slows time down for me and also gives me more control over which thoughts makes sense and which perpetuate the anxiety. It has definitely been helping me feel more comfortable in social situations surrounding my placements. Both of my placements are hybrid and I enjoy the flexibility but I’ve also had to adjust more to working from home. The environment I work in is important to how I can stay focused and I’ve been trying to find the best environment for that and I think getting outside of my apartment is best or at least a combination of work from home with regular breaks outside.

Week 3

A typical day at both of my placements are pretty peaceful for the most part. The work itself hasn’t been overwhelming and my supervisors have offered a great deal of support. I work hybrid for both Black Yield and Baltimore Underground Science Space which allows me a lot of flexibility with my schedule. I try to split my times equally between placements so I can focus on different goals throughout the week. I work with BYI Monday through Wednesday. This week I have been finishing up my onboarding with the organization, learning about how the organization functions, work culture as well as the mission and initiatives that pushes the organization forward. On Monday’s I have a weekly check-in meeting with my site supervisor, Eric Jackson and we use that time to check in with each other about my progress on the work I’ve been working on and if there’s any questions I have or any support he could offer that would make the process smoother. Currently I am working on policy research to create a database of past or current legislation that handles land grabbing or land reparation policy. BYI is hoping to find some kind of precedent that could then be applied to Baltimore City and a lot of the vacant or unused land could be allocated for protected use through housing, farming, or food storage. My second project with BYI includes coming up with a separate database of known food justice/sovereignty organizations worldwide that are within the African diaspora. With Baltimore Underground Science Space I work Thursday, Friday, and some Saturdays. Thursday we have our weekly lab meeting after BITES where we discuss what we will physically be doing in the lab space on Friday and Saturday. Thursday I also make sure to spend time researching or reviewing topics and concepts to help remind myself of certain biological/biochemical techniques. Friday and Saturday I am more often than not working in person, continuing on the OpenInsulin project. The mission is to find a sustainable way to reduce the price of insulin to $5.00, but right now we are doing some experiments to optimize the production of insulin by the bacterial cells before jumping ahead to running bioreactor systems. I am inspired a lot by the community space at BUGSS, I really enjoy talking to the different members on the projector since we all come from different personal and even educational backgrounds. I have also been enjoying getting to know the culture of people at BYI, I am inspired by their work ethic, passion for their mission, knowledge, and by how uniquely the organization functions compared to other non-profits or organizations in American culture. I can see clearly they have a specific organizational culture but I have been trying my best not immediately jump in and pretend to be one of them; however, I am starting to think they are inviting me in with open arms.

Week 4

I will say, I feel like I have actually been able to conquer or continue working on some goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the summer. I personally have talked a lot about my anxiety in many of these blogs, and that is because the context of this experience brings much of it to the surface for me. I feel like I have been able to approach things more confidently socially, whether in the context of my peer mentor group, or even in the context of the workplace. There is still room for growth, and of course not all goals have been worked on equally. Personally I am still trying to get a better grasp of what kind of schedule works for me, when I feel most productive, how much rest I need, etc. This all affects my time management and which is a very important skill to have, but I have only recently understood its importance. I think for me because I have not been able to plan out my weeks from the start that has been affecting how my days progress, when I’m wondering how to structure the day after waking up. At the same time, I also am trying to learn how to adapt when things don’t go according to plan, because in the real world you cannot control everything. On a completely unrelated thought, I love how I have been able to explore more parts of the city this summer than the previous so far. Even during the scavenger hunt, I think I noticed more, or at least was about to take in more detail of the city. Things are going by quickly, it’s almost like at just the point where relationships are starting to be formed, I realize that CIIP is already halfway over at this point.

Week 5

For my placement with Black Yield Institute, I’ve definitely mentioned my project on researching land reparation policies worldwide. I’ve asked a few other interns for help when it comes to simply being able to read and comprehend legislation, since for me this is definitely my first experience doing so and having to follow trails from federal to municipal/local legislation. Honestly, it has been a really difficult and sharp learning curve, having to go through weeds and weeds of different policies to try to find what I am looking for. My supervisor, Eric, has been helpful and guiding me to a direction, but one thing I have realized is that the most important part is researching how the policy has actually made impacts or been applied in real situations. When I focus on this, it is then so much easier to actually understand what the legislation is trying to convey. This way feels much more simpler than trying to parse through complex paragraphs of exemptions and clauses. I think the Sheridan Libraries presentation was actually surprisingly helpful, because I have been using their databases frequently to look for sources and articles. I think one lesson I have been constantly confronted with during the summer is the importance of rest and self care when it comes to your professional life. Black Yield Institute incorporates this a lot in their work culture, and it is really inspiring to see a focus on health and well-being instead of a skewed hyperfocus on constant labor as an interpretation of productivity. Similarly, I think both placements have also opened my mind to the creativity that comes with non-profits and being able to structure your own organization and collectively determine how you want it to function. This is something that I strive to apply to my own life, being free from what’s expected of my life, and focusing on creating what works for me.

Week 7

I see many examples of intersectionality between both of my placements and other placement areas throughout CIIP. The Open Insulin research project at BUGSS has many intersections with service to marginalized groups of people. I can definitely imagine members of the immigrant and homeless population having a form of diabetes and needing insulin treatments, but they may or may not have adequate insurance. This definitely affects many in Baltimore City’s “Healthy Food Priority Areas” (areas affected by food apartheid), because the quality of food available can cause a lot of cardiovascular, digestive, and metabolic health issues. The cost of insulin itself is sometimes the largest barrier for those diagnosed with diabetes and requiring treatment, often having to ration their doses. Finding a low cost and sustainable way to produce insulin will be beneficial in increasing affordability and access to marginalized communities. I could also see a lot of potential collaboration with placements that hold summer camps or schools, where BUGSS could host many educational and hands-on activities. My project with Black Yield Institute could definitely see collaboration with the city council offices that are placements with CIIP. This would be great help and support for finding precedent and creating legislation for Baltimore City. Being able to successfully transform many vacancies across the city can help areas suffering from food apartheid by introducing more urban farming, community gardens, market spaces, and even food co-ops. Housing is another issue that could be further worked on through this research, and more affordable housing could be established throughout the city.