Fatima Baloul | CIIP 2023 Blog Portfolio
Posted: July 5, 2023
Orientation Week
Transportation inequity truly became apparent to me during the scavenger hunt. As we navigated the city through the scavenger hunt, it became clear that not all neighborhoods in Baltimore City are well-served by the public transportation system. Some areas had further and limited bus stops, forcing residents to walk tons of blocks for the nearest stop. That lack of accessible public transit absolutely and disproportionately impacted those in West Baltimore, and in turn, those in the black butterfly, where many residents rely heavily on public transportation. That significant distance that we had to walk to reach the bus stops would have been and currently are particularly challenging for Baltimoreans that experience physical disabilities. Sidewalks and pedestrian infrastructure were inconsistent throughout the city, with some areas lacking proper sidewalks altogether. Those barriers exacerbate the transportation inequity throughout the city and specifically in the black butterfly.
Throughout the past week, every presentation and activity we participated in had a significant and purposeful impact. We engaged in exercises that involved carefully crafting our words and actively listening to one another. These experiences allowed me to gain insight into the lives of Baltimore residents and the role of JHU in the community. During this time, I made a conscious effort to embrace the discomfort. It was reassuring to learn about the community partners and organizations involved in the Community Impact Internship Program (CIIP), particularly those dedicated to amplifying the voices of individuals and addressing issues like Black maternal health in Baltimore or implementing trauma-informed care in systems.
Week 1
Throughout this week, I found myself without wifi access at home due to the process of moving houses. It is an experience that millions of families and communities go through over the course of their entire lives. I do admit that I did not handle it well and took for granted the privilege of having internet and wifi access. All week, I searched for community areas with free wifi to work remotely. I was only able to return home once all my virtual tasks were done, and I no longer “needed” wifi, leading to many late nights. Three days into the week, I broke my laptop charger and couldn’t find a replacement in any local stores. Needless to say, I had no laptop and no wifi.
This situation made me realize how incredibly privileged I am. I recognized the extent to which my livelihood and mental well-being rely on constant access to and connectivity with my messages and work. Throughout the week, I had so many beautiful and meaningful conversations with elderly individuals, young mothers, and their children at the library, as they came to the library each day to share the local computers. And in the process, I saw, at least a glimpse, of the hardship for those that do not have stable or consistent wifi, internet, or access to a computer. I saw Baltimore entrepreneurs, local artists, nurses, and teachers all collectively share these public resources. It was a safe space that was free of judgment and was full of so much ambition and understanding.
Week 2
This week for MOMCares was the preparation for the Young Mothers Program, which is an opportunity for a group of young mothers in Baltimore to meet 4 days a week for a few months with the MOMCares team and to receive support and a sense of family through discussion and reflection on pregnancy, parenting, lactation, financing, and more. Throughout the week, I was both extremely excited and nervous to meet the young mothers. Providing a safe and comforting environment has always been something I really value. But, I found myself stuck at times. As someone that has personally not gone through the process of being a mother, I was worried that that would create a barrier between the young mothers and I, as I aimed to support them.
However through that, I leaned on my supervisor and the MOMCares team. I spent a lot of the week asking questions, being in the back, and observing the way that my supervisor and her coworkers facilitated conversation, discussion, reflection, and meditation with the young mothers. With the guidance and the support of the team, I was able to slowly learn the mothers individually and learn how to cater a session that can best serve them. It was beautiful to see a group of these ladies come together and celebrate their pregnancy, yet at the same time, acknowledge and recognize the hardship that they experienced and are overcoming. And I entirely admire the way that my supervisor was able to make them feel heard, mentally safe, and at home through discussion.
Week 3
I have felt much closer to the team this week. After a few weeks of now being in person at the office, I have been able to connect more with the MOMCares team. They have a super close-knit dynamic that I am really fortunate to be a part of. Being a part of a team, for the first time, that is as well fully Black has been such a heart warming and welcoming experience. The young mothers program was virtual this week. We did a lot of inner reflections, discussion, and values activities. Although the program is designed for the wonderful mothers, I participated in all of the activities as well. It was so fruitful. I was able to take a step back and evaluate the values that mean most to me.
We discussed how we can be patient and kind towards ourselves during motherhood. It has been incredible to see the way that MOMCares has supported these young women emotionally, mentally, financially, as well as through physical baby and mommy supplies. In addition, this week, I helped the other MOMCares staff in creating flyers for their childbirth education and lactation classes. The creative freedom in creating art and flyers has always been something I absolutely love, yet it is so tricky because I had to be very familiar with the style and vision of the staff. I am not an expert in motherhood, lactation, or childbirth, and so it was vital for me to check in with them on whether my Canva flyers and outreach materials were fulfilling their vision. Working with mothers has been such a beautiful experience. It has taken me years of exploration to pinpoint my genuine passions and interests. And MOMCares has put me in the exact work that I genuinely want to pursue in college and beyond.
Week 4
Over the course of this week, I focused on the Young Mothers Program. We have completely shifted to a virtual platform. Initially, I was worried that the mothers would not feel as connected to each other or to the content because they would not be in – person and instead would be virtual. I was worried as well because we had planned plenty of in – person activities, such as Mental Health Mondays where we would have tea, do face-masks, and do light stretches before their guest speaker presentation on breastfeeding, lactation, parenting, etc, and Team Building Tuesdays with board games and puzzles. At the end of last week, the other intern and I worked on brainstorming ways to engage the ladies as we shifted these in – person activities to virtual. It was tricky given that not all the moms are participating on computers, and many of them use their phones. This week, the ladies created vision boards through Pinterest, and we always started them off with a breathing exercise. The breathing exercise has held a lot of importance in our program. We spend 5-10 minutes having them meditate with the flowing river meditation technique. To make each of their voices heard, we would call on each of the mothers individually to share how they have been and how they were feeling. We opened that space for them to feel welcomed and heard. It is a super small group of 4-5 ladies. And through that, we were able to engage in very important conversations on feeling selfish as a mother for wanting things for yourself, and we also talked about how to work on your career while also caring for your children. Overall, I think that the mothers are feeling more connected to one another and to the content they are learning on breastfeeding, methods for lactation, delivery, co-parenting, etc.
Week 5
The moms reached a new level of vulnerability and comfort this week, with each other and with the interns/staff of the program. We had a few wonderful guest speakers this week, including mentors and graduates of the Young Mothers Program and an OB/GYN. The variety in these guest speakers and their topics definitely served the women, since they were able to accumulate as much information as possible from the experiences of the mentors and the insight of the clinicians. We started, of course, with deep breathing and a few opening activities. This week, for the opening activities and prior to the guest speaker presentation, we had them continue their vision boards, complete a few value activities, and finally, reflections. I actually found myself taking a few opening activities from our CIIP orientation and implementing them in the Young Mothers Program. Some of the many questions we asked them in the reflection and will continue to ask them in the following week are: What’s something you can let go of today? What is a strength you have that your children are / will be benefiting from? How would you describe your parenting style/future parenting style? What does your self-care routine look like? How could you improve it? What daily habits or routines do you think would make life easier? It is beautiful to see the ways that these ladies share their stories and their experiences, and I think it is beautiful to see the way that my supervisor and the MOMCares staff honors them. The appreciation, love, support, admiration, and respect they have for one another is incredibly strong and runs so deep.
Week 7
I am eternally grateful for my mentees. Day 1 of orientation, I strategically seated them and had placed fidget toys in front of each of their name tags. I spent the night before thinking about all the questions I could ask them so that lunch at R House wasn’t painfully awkward or ways I could make the scavenger hunt a great experience for them. I had a privilege – the privilege of comfort and the privilege of being familiar with CIIP. And I wanted to be in a position where I could make my mentees feel safe and feel as though they had a support system in navigating CIIP. Now, 8 weeks post orientation, my mentees have made me feel beyond safe and incredibly supported. They taught me friendship and compassion. They taught me what it feels like to have people in your corner. And, they truly made my CIIP experience. I am coming into this upcoming year with a group of life-long friends, and I am, of course, eternally grateful for them.
